Teaching perseverance to kids is one of the most important parts of helping them develop a mindset for success, because every child will face setbacks, rejection and moments when things feel too hard.
A baby learns to walk by falling over many times. An entrepreneur learns to succeed after stumbling along the way. In this third part of Natalie Cook’s Five Ps series, we look at her fourth P: Perseverance — perseverance on our children’s part, and perseverance on ours as parents too.
Teaching Perseverance to Kids Through Real-Life Setbacks
One of the best ways to teach children perseverance is to let them see adults handle setbacks in a healthy way.
For example, Cathy and I have learned that in the business of referring people to an opportunity, many people will simply not be interested. With enterprising teens watching, how do parents set an example to persevere when people say “No”?
The mindset for success is to celebrate the “No.”
After enough “No” responses, a “Yes” will inevitably follow. One of my mentors, David Wood, says to do the Happy Dance whenever you get a “No,” because the rejection has only moved you one step closer to the “Yes.”
Perseverance for Kids Means Learning to Handle Rejection
Your kids, whether entrepreneurial or not, are going to like seeing that Happy Dance.
It becomes a practical, memorable way to help seal the behavioural pattern of success in their mindsets. Being able to overcome rejection in business, rejection from friends and even rejection from family is paramount when teaching perseverance to kids.
The lesson is simple but powerful: rejection is not the end of the road. It is part of the road.
For entrepreneurial kids and enterprising teens, this matters. A child who can hear “No” and still keep going has a much stronger foundation than a child who believes every “No” means they have failed.
Changing the Language Children Use About Perseverance
Our vocabulary also plays a huge part in our ability to persevere.
In our family, “Can’t” is a swear word and is not allowed to be used at any time. “Can” is encouraged.
Many people, including kids, are quick to give up when the going gets tough. They say, “I can’t,” rather than “I can.” The little kids in my family actually believe “can’t” is a swear word, right up there with the other big four-letter words!
This might sound funny, but it is also a powerful family rule.
When children repeatedly say “I can’t,” they begin training themselves to stop. When they learn to say “I can try,” “I can learn,” or “I can have another go,” they begin building the internal language of perseverance.
Teaching Perseverance to Kids With “That Was Easy”
Another phrase to abandon is, “It’s too hard.”
Natalie Cook showed us a little trick she used to change her perception of what is hard. She bought a toy button that calls out, “That was easy!” when you press it. Natalie would strap this toy button to her volleyball net pole.
Whenever she did something very well that was also very difficult, she would run up to press the button:
“That was easy!”
Try it for yourself. Press the button below.
Being the best in the world at your sport certainly has its challenges, and my kids would love to try out one of those buttons.
But whether or not you have the button, the point is not to keep telling yourself, “That was hard.”
A child’s brain listens carefully to repeated language. If the phrase is always “too hard,” the child begins to expect defeat. If the phrase becomes “I can try,” “I can learn,” or even “that was easy,” the child begins to rehearse a different identity.
Natalie Cook’s Example of Perseverance
Natalie Cook’s Olympic journey is a strong example of perseverance in action. Her official Olympic profile describes her as a five-time Olympian and Olympic gold and bronze medallist in beach volleyball, which makes her a powerful role model when teaching children about commitment, setbacks and long-term success. Read more about Natalie Cook’s Olympic journey here.
Children often see the medal, the success or the final moment of victory.
What they do not always see are the early mornings, the missed shots, the injuries, the disappointments, the training sessions and the moments when an athlete has to choose whether to keep going.
That is why perseverance is such an important lesson for kids. It teaches them that success is not just about talent. It is also about what they do after things become difficult.
Why Perseverance Belongs in the Mindset for Success
These tactics — celebrating the “No,” changing our language, and reframing hard things as achievable — can all increase the level of perseverance in kids and help keep them on a successful track.
But perseverance becomes easier when children also have direction.
That is where the next P comes in: Plan.
A plan gives perseverance somewhere to go. It helps children understand the next step, not just the final dream. Without a plan, perseverance can feel like pushing in the dark. With a plan, children can see that each effort is moving them forward.
Make sure you have a look at the short video above that we made of Natalie Cook giving a special message to our kids. Can you spot the blooper?
Natalie Cook’s Five Ps Series
This article is Part 3 in our series on Natalie Cook’s Five Ps for helping entrepreneurial kids and enterprising teens develop purpose, people, passion, perseverance, planning and a mindset for success.
- Part 1: Purpose
- Part 2: People and Passion
- Part 3: Perseverance — you are here
- Part 4: Plan and a Kids Mindset for Success
Where to Next?
- Go back to Part 2: People and Passion
- Read Amber’s reflection of Green SuperCamp
- Explore more ideas for raising entrepreneurial kids
How do you help your children persevere when things get tough? Leave us a comment and share one strategy that has worked in your family.